Jewish new year starts in few hours....It's custom to dip apple in honey for a sweet year....
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Jewish new year starts in few hours....It's custom to dip apple in honey for a sweet year....
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Smfh.....lol...
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5h0J-k8chI
This one might entertain you :D
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I started a company selling landmines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
kills me every time
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An 8 year old and a 6 year old are raking the yard. The 8 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started learning to cuss." The 6 year old nods his head in approval.
The 8 year old continues,"When we go in for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass." The 6 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 8 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios.
WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 6 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios!"
A recent article in the San Francisco Examiner reported that Nancy Pelosi has sued Stanford Hospital saying that "after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex."
A hospital spokesman replied, "Your husband was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight."
Hi, Fred, this is Richard, next door. I’ve got a confession to make.
I’ve been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. At least I’m telling you in this text and I can’t live with myself a minute longer without you knowing about this. The truth is that when you’re not around I’ve been sharing your wife, day and night. In fact, probably much more than you. I haven’t been getting it at home recently and I know that that’s no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can’t live with the guilt and hope you’ll accept my sincere apology and forgive me. Please suggest a fee for usage and I’ll pay you.
Regards, Richard
Neighbors response:
Fred, feeling so angered and betrayed, grabbed his gun and shot Richard, killing him. He went back home and poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. Fred then looked at his phone and discovered a second text message from Richard.
Second text message:
Hi, Fred. Richard here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I expected you figured it out and noticed that the damned Auto-Correct had changed “wi-fi” to “wife.” Technology, huh? It’ll be the death of us all. Regards, Richard.