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Thread: Humor thread

  1. #126
    EagleOne's Avatar
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    Re: Humor thread

    A blonde friend of mine asked me if I knew what IDK stood for. I said, "I don't know." She said, "Does anybody? You're the 50th person I have asked and none of you knew the answer."
    EagleOne
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  2. #127
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    Re: Humor thread

    Can someone from the UK help me out here. Here's my friend's dilemma:

    "I have a Benefits Question:

    Many years ago, I married a widow out of love who had an 18-year-old daughter. After the wedding, my father, a widower, came to visit a number of times, and he fell in love with my step-daughter. My father eventually married her without my authorization.

    As a result, my step-daughter legally became my step-mother and my father my son-in-law. My father's wife (also my step-daughter) and my step-mother, gave birth to a son who is my grandchild because I am the husband of my step-daughter's mother. This boy is also my brother, as the son of my father. As you can see, my wife became a grandmother, because she is the mother of my father's wife. Therefore, it appears that I am also my wife's grandchild.

    A short time after these events, my wife gave birth to a son, who became my father's brother-in-law, the step-son of my father's wife, and my uncle. My son is also my step-mother's brother, and through my step-mother, my wife has become a grandmother and I have become my own grandfather. In light of the above mentioned, I would like to know the following:

    Does my son, who is also my uncle, my father's son-in-law, and my step-mother's brother fulfill the requirements for receiving childcare benefits in the UK?
    EagleOne
    Founder/President Eagle Research Associates
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    Author: "Robbing You With A Keyboard Instead Of A Gun - Cyber Crime How They Do It" available in soft cover and eBook at Amazon.com
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  3. #128
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    Re: Humor thread

    .........
    freedom.jpg
    ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ

  4. #129
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    Re: Humor thread

    pillow.jpg
    ..........
    ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ

  5. #130
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    Re: Humor thread

    A wife was standing naked looking at herself in the mirror and said to her husband, "I can't believe it. My arms have sagging muscles, my boobs are dropping, my butt is fat, my wrinkles have wrinkles, is there anything positive about me?"

    The husband replied, "Well, your eyesight is still 20/20."

    The swelling of his eyes should go down in about 4 days so he can see again.
    EagleOne
    Founder/President Eagle Research Associates
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    http://swindles.org
    Author: "Robbing You With A Keyboard Instead Of A Gun - Cyber Crime How They Do It" available in soft cover and eBook at Amazon.com
    Lifetime Member of the National Association of Distinguished Professionals

  6. #131
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    Re: Humor thread

    A wife was standing naked looking at herself in the mirror and said to her husband, "I can't believe it. My arms have sagging muscles, my boobs are dropping, my butt is fat, my wrinkles have wrinkles, is there anything positive about me?"

    The husband replied, "Well, your eyesight is still 20/20."

    The swelling of his eyes should go down in about 4 days so he can see again.
    EagleOne
    Founder/President Eagle Research Associates
    http://eagleresearchassociates.org
    http://swindles.org
    Author: "Robbing You With A Keyboard Instead Of A Gun - Cyber Crime How They Do It" available in soft cover and eBook at Amazon.com
    Lifetime Member of the National Association of Distinguished Professionals

  7. #132
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    Re: Humor thread

    So Ole the lumberjack finally breaks down and buys a chainsaw on the store assurance that he would be able to cut 10 cords of wood a day with it. After 3 days Ole comes back into the sore and complains that the most he can cut is 6 cords, The clerk can't understand what the problem might be so he grabs the saw and pulls on the starter rope,"Vroom" it goes. "What's that noise?" Ole asks...!
    It seems like in this "industry" common sense is not all that common!

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