Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 33
Like Tree47Likes

Thread: Classifying MLM Douchebags

  1. #1
    kschang is offline Senior Scambuster
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    874

    Classifying MLM Douchebags

    Guys, I'm writing a piece tentatively called "Guide to Classifying MLM Douchebags"

    I'm looking for "types" of douchebags that push MLM and other income scams. Don't need names, just actual types. So far, I have:


    The Evangelist

    You can spot this type who always want to tell people that MLM is the greatest thing ever, because they were just at this event and it was the greatest thing ever, and you have to join. They are rarely armed with facts (such as MLM's growth is by adding affiliates, or MLM was never taught at Harvard Business School). They are very excited to tell you about the industry, but they know little about what they are supposed to be selling.

    Subtype: The Noobvangelist

    This is someone who just joined the day before and barely know their stuff, but they are so wrapped up in the fervor they want to "share" their enthusiasm, albeit in a naively blundering way.


    The Bling-Flasher

    You can spot this type who always proclaim that he made X amount of money, or drive a fancy car (BMW, Benz, etc.) doing that business. Companies often present those "show checks" (as large as a person) to such people at certain flashy recruitment events at "award ceremonies", adding to their illusion. However, they'll never proclaim how much did they SPEND travelling around pushing the stuff, or how many products did s/he really sell.

    Subtype: The Camp Follower

    This is someone who goes around proclaiming the greatness of a Bling-Flasher, like "Look man, that guy made 500K last month, and drives a fancy MB", much like a groupie who follows around a band.


    The Loan Shark

    You can spot this type who thinks s/he is owed everything from everybody. The world owes him or her success. The refuseniks (people who refused his "polite" request to explain the opportunity) owes him/her an explanation. His downlines owes him/her respect, etc. etc.


    The Dollar Discriminator

    You can spot this type by how s/he interacts with people. If you are not semi-interested in the opportunity, s/he is not interested in wasting time with you. Judges people by likelihood of joining his/her scheme.


    The Pseudo-Intellectual

    You can spot this type by how they react to criticism, such as "Scheme X may be a pyramid scheme". Generally the resort to bogus explanations like "all companies are pyramid-shaped", "pyramid schemes don't have products", and so on. They think they have a ready answer to most criticism, however, they usually don't even know what laws define a pyramid scheme in their own jurisdiction.


    The Double-Dipper

    You can spot this type by how they pitch a "primary opportunity", but will often throw in references to other "opportunities" as well, by claiming it's some sort of backup plan, "Plan B", "contingency", "multiple streams of income", and so on. Real MLMs don't allow cross-recruiting because it creates conflicts of interest.


    The Eyes Wide Shutters

    Even when the signs are so f***ing obvious that it's a scam, they are ardent believers that they've hitched themselves to the gravy train. In fact, such people are known to argue that law enforcement and regulatory agencies "don't know what they're talking about" when it is them who don't know what they're talking about... even AFTER their scheme had been shut down.


    The Serial Jumpers

    You can spot this type by how they claim to have DECADES of experience in this industry, yet never mentions what companies they have joined or how much they have achieved in sales. (They'll gladly mention a rank though, even if the rank is not sales based) yet research shows they joined a new scheme every few months, cash out their earnings after their "fandom" joined then leave for something else. Nothing is ever good enough for them.


    The Resume Flashers

    You can spot this type by how the claim to have lots of experience, names all the companies and ranks achieved, even wrote books, articles, speaking engagements, etc. Yet how much did they really make from the business themselves? Or is all these "training" their business now? Some are known to charge hundreds a day or thousands for a weekend of classes.
    ---
    A MLM Skeptic (not a Cynic) covering scams, critical thinking, and psychology
    http://amlmskeptic.blogspot.com

  2. #2
    ribshaw's Avatar
    ribshaw is online now Nigerian Ministry
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Internet Cafe Nigeria
    Posts
    5,304

    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    This is more of an observation, but I will call this person the False Profit.

    An MLMer that attempts to frame their argument for MLM it in terms of wanting success for people. The implication being the people opposed to MLM are negative and want everyone to fail.

    Perhaps a kissing cousin of the Evangelist?
    "It's virtually impossible to violate rules ... but it's impossible for a violation to go undetected, certainly not for a considerable period of time." Bernie Madoff
    https://www.facebook.com/pages/Scam-...98399986981403

  3. #3
    kschang is offline Senior Scambuster
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    874

    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    Quote Originally Posted by ribshaw View Post
    This is more of an observation, but I will call this person the False Profit.

    An MLMer that attempts to frame their argument for MLM it in terms of wanting success for people. The implication being the people opposed to MLM are negative and want everyone to fail.

    Perhaps a kissing cousin of the Evangelist?
    I know "false profit" is supposed to rhyme with "false prophet" but somehow that word play doesn't quite do it for me.

    I think I'll add subtype: Firebrand -- you can tell those apart from the main group in that they have a profound HATRED of any one who doesn't agree with them, and they want to spread that hate to any one who will listen. Any one who doesn't agree, according to them, are "wage slaves", only have a J-O-B, and are doomed to be stepped on by greedy capitalists with no future... and only MLM will "save" them.
    ---
    A MLM Skeptic (not a Cynic) covering scams, critical thinking, and psychology
    http://amlmskeptic.blogspot.com

  4. #4
    ribshaw's Avatar
    ribshaw is online now Nigerian Ministry
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Internet Cafe Nigeria
    Posts
    5,304

    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    Quote Originally Posted by kschang View Post
    I think I'll add subtype: Firebrand -- you can tell those apart from the main group in that they have a profound HATRED of any one who doesn't agree with them, and they want to spread that hate to any one who will listen. Any one who doesn't agree, according to them, are "wage slaves", only have a J-O-B, and are doomed to be stepped on by greedy capitalists with no future... and only MLM will "save" them.
    The focus group suggested Fluffernutter for this addition.

    There is among this group an inappropriate use of "positive thinking" in arguing a case for MLM. As if thinking and saying certain phrases somehow changes bad math or a person's skill set.

    It is one thing to have a good product, at the right price, and a pool of potential users to think "I can make this work".

    It is a whole nutha kettle of fish to have an overpriced product, questionable quality, and a saturated market to think "If I put a picture of a Corvette on my fridge I'm going to be rich".

    When these people show up to make their case, you almost know what they will be saying before they say it. It is some version of "not being able to think outside the box", which I suppose serves to deflect any business concerns a "hater" might have.
    "It's virtually impossible to violate rules ... but it's impossible for a violation to go undetected, certainly not for a considerable period of time." Bernie Madoff
    https://www.facebook.com/pages/Scam-...98399986981403

  5. #5
    shipdit's Avatar
    shipdit is offline Senior Scambuster
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    509

    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    I think that lots of the proposed sub-groups were commonly spawned from a generation that grew up having everyone in their life constantly reminding them how "special" they were; parents, teachers, aunts, uncles, grandparents, little league coaches, etc. Everyone got a ribbon or a trophy just for showing up. Once they started dealing with the real world where they legitimately had to compete, they felt disillusioned upon finding out how ill-prepared the constant ego-stroking had left them.

    The shortcut that Ponzi players discovered to compensate for their inadequacies was to retreat to the fantasy-land of their youthful "specialness"; believing that the next program, the next admin and even God himself was going to alleviate their dismal existence by re-writing reality to make the outrageous promises come true. The scammers constantly sucking at their wallet not only take advantage of their victims delusion but are a product of the same disease, believing that they are "special" enough to deserve their ill-gotten gains without paying any social penalty.

    SD

    .
    "No one in this world, so far as I know - and I have researched the records for years, and employed agents to help me - has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people" - H. L. Mencken

  6. #6
    kschang is offline Senior Scambuster
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    874

    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    Quote Originally Posted by ribshaw View Post
    The focus group suggested Fluffernutter for this addition.
    There is among this group an inappropriate use of "positive thinking" in arguing a case for MLM. As if thinking and saying certain phrases somehow changes bad math or a person's skill set.
    Fluffernutter, as in the sandwich? I guess I don't quite see the pun... except "nuts", or perhaps that's the pun, they fluff you (pump you up) and are still nuts?

    I guess it can be a yet another variant; abuse of "positive thinking", i.e. "positivist".
    ---
    A MLM Skeptic (not a Cynic) covering scams, critical thinking, and psychology
    http://amlmskeptic.blogspot.com

  7. #7
    kschang is offline Senior Scambuster
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    874

    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    (Looking up the term "fluffer" brought up some... surprises...)
    ---
    A MLM Skeptic (not a Cynic) covering scams, critical thinking, and psychology
    http://amlmskeptic.blogspot.com

  8. #8
    Whip's Avatar
    Whip is offline Anonymous. As are you all
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    6,062

    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    Quote Originally Posted by kschang View Post
    Fluffernutter, as in the sandwich? I guess I don't quite see the pun... except "nuts", or perhaps that's the pun, they fluff you (pump you up) and are still nuts?

    I guess it can be a yet another variant; abuse of "positive thinking", i.e. "positivist".
    I look at it as a disgusting product. lol

  9. #9
    kath is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    122

    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    What about folks that are a combination of the evangelist, noobvangelist, loan shark, dollar discriminator, pseudo intellectual etc all wrapped into one? Maybe they deserve a category all their own? These are the folks that show traits from all those categories and then some. Their scammertunity WILL save woman kind, lift all unenlightened peasants from dire poverty and stupiddom and don't you dare disagree with them with mere facts. They will cut you out of their life for simply stating the obvious. What should these narcissistic cult followers be called?

  10. #10
    laidback's Avatar
    laidback is offline Senior Troll
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    3,000

    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    Quote Originally Posted by kath View Post
    What about folks that are a combination of the evangelist, noobvangelist, loan shark, dollar discriminator, pseudo intellectual etc all wrapped into one? Maybe they deserve a category all their own? These are the folks that show traits from all those categories and then some. Their scammertunity WILL save woman kind, lift all unenlightened peasants from dire poverty and stupiddom and don't you dare disagree with them with mere facts. They will cut you out of their life for simply stating the obvious. What should these narcissistic cult followers be called?
    I'm sorry, the word for them should not be uttered in public or mixed company...!
    It seems like in this "industry" common sense is not all that common!

  11. #11
    littleroundman is offline Administrator
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    17,686

    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    Quote Originally Posted by kath View Post
    What should these narcissistic cult followers be called?
    Doomed
    ....
    The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing

  12. #12
    kschang is offline Senior Scambuster
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    874

    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    That's just... Douchebag / Douchebaggery? :)

    There's certainly nothing that prevents a douchebag from exhibiting more than one of these characteristics. :D

    Maybe I should call them Douchebag traits of network marketer instead.
    ---
    A MLM Skeptic (not a Cynic) covering scams, critical thinking, and psychology
    http://amlmskeptic.blogspot.com

  13. #13
    Doc Bunkum's Avatar
    Doc Bunkum is offline Senior Scambuster
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    723

    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    Quote Originally Posted by kschang View Post
    Guys, I'm writing a piece tentatively called "Guide to Classifying MLM Douchebags"

    I'm looking for "types" of douchebags that push MLM and other income scams. Don't need names, just actual types. So far, I have:

    How about the Scum Sucking Bottom Feeder?

    Like Phil Piccolo for instance? (Ooops sorry, you didn't want names.)

    Anyways, this goes back a couple of years when Bob Burtis was publishing the World Wide Scam Network.

    WWSN Note: Phil Piccolo recently announced a new MLM opportunity in a "Money Maker's Monthly" ad for "NourishTheChildren.com", in which Mr. Piccolo claimed:

    "14,000 to 27,000 children Under the age of 5 DIE EVERYDAY"

    "After hearing this presentation and watching a 5 minute video I found myself emotionally involved (crying) and knew that all of the God given ability and talent that I have been blessed with was for this purpose... oh yes, I will probably make $5,000,000 (Five Million Dollars) also but it is the first time in my 27 year career that the CAUSE is BIGGER than the CHECK."

    This appeared to indicate a new low in network marketing, with Phil Piccolo using starving children as bait in a new MLM money-making pyramid scheme.

    Fortunately, NuSkin had other ideas and took appropriate action:
    Right, I'd agree that using starving children as bait in a MLM money-making pyramid scheme was pretty low.

    NuSkin took appropriate action canned the grifter.

    PHIL PICCOLO TERMINATED BY NUSKIN


    "He has conducted himself in ways unacceptable to our standards..."


    Funny thing is though. NuSkinners are still using the same tactics today.

    I'm confronting a Nu Skin rep this Monday, and I'm a little scared

    I've got a wonderful girl in my class. She's from Ethiopia I think, she saw her entire family slaughtered, and became a fantastic, strong, inspirational person despite hardship. She's just the definition of a Good Person. A few days ago, she contacted me on Facebook; "You seem like a cool guy, so I have a proposal for you". To cut things short, she gave me this line about how 98% of the world's population either works or have free time, and she worked with some people that could give me the opportunity to do both, to join the 2%....
    To make a long story short, the writer agreed to meet up with her and the proposal quickly shifted from doing good for the world to peddling NuScam products.

    Same bunch of Scum Sucking Bottom Feeder types as Phil Piccolo, in my books.

  14. #14
    Doc Bunkum's Avatar
    Doc Bunkum is offline Senior Scambuster
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    723

    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    Then you have the Bucky Beaver type that wants to be your best friend - until he finally realizes you're serious after repeatedly telling him to get lost.

    BuckyBeaver_zps7408ee72.jpg

  15. #15
    kath is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    122

    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    so how about a type called
    "doomed a$$holes" that share traits from the other types
    and....
    "scum sucking bottom feeder" types-they definately exist and deserve a category----it is truly infuriating how they use the "charitable giving' guilt trip to try and get more 'recruits' and/or sales

  16. #16
    kschang is offline Senior Scambuster
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    874

    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    I think "Bucky Beaver" is covered under Noobvangelist, though I guess I'll have to clarify that as "being completely oblivious to your polite hints to 'get lost'"

    I can definitely add a new trait of "Holier Than Thou" -- uses religion and/or charity as bait to engage you in conversation, then steer you into the opportunity, no different religious affinity scam.

    I am adding a new trait: the fluffer. They tell you various things that you're not (but you want to be) to make you more receptive to their pitch; i.e. they lie to you in order to sell to you
    ---
    A MLM Skeptic (not a Cynic) covering scams, critical thinking, and psychology
    http://amlmskeptic.blogspot.com

  17. #17
    littleroundman is offline Administrator
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    17,686

    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    MLM junkies.

    These are persons who have become addicted to the passive income appeal of MLM and have failed time after time in each of several MLMs, but keep trying new ones in hopes that “this may be the one.” They are like the person in and out of a long string of romantic relationships looking for the ideal mate.
    The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing

  18. #18
    ribshaw's Avatar
    ribshaw is online now Nigerian Ministry
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Internet Cafe Nigeria
    Posts
    5,304

    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    The Tex-Totaler

    This an an asshole who lost a shit-ton of money in MLM, like $100,000, but is such an asshole that even people who hate MLM laugh at the thought.

    Last spotted making a goodbye message all about himself

    The Salty Droid – Merry Christmas Goodbye

    Textex's Amway Is The Trunk Of The MLM Tree, Let's Chop It Down Thread Gone Wild!
    "It's virtually impossible to violate rules ... but it's impossible for a violation to go undetected, certainly not for a considerable period of time." Bernie Madoff
    https://www.facebook.com/pages/Scam-...98399986981403

  19. #19
    Whip's Avatar
    Whip is offline Anonymous. As are you all
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    6,062

    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    Quote Originally Posted by ribshaw View Post
    The Tex-Totaler

    This an an asshole who lost a shit-ton of money in MLM, like $100,000, but is such an asshole that even people who hate MLM laugh at the thought.

    Last spotted making a goodbye message all about himself

    The Salty Droid – Merry Christmas Goodbye

    Textex's Amway Is The Trunk Of The MLM Tree, Let's Chop It Down Thread Gone Wild!
    lol. jackass still can't get anyone to even look at his sham of a website.

  20. #20
    Doc Bunkum's Avatar
    Doc Bunkum is offline Senior Scambuster
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    723

    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    Quote Originally Posted by ribshaw View Post
    The Tex-Totaler

    This an an asshole who lost a shit-ton of money in MLM, like $100,000, but is such an asshole that even people who hate MLM laugh at the thought.

    Last spotted making a goodbye message all about himself
    Oh, I see what you're saying.

    Had me confused for a moment.

    I thought you were saying Jason Jones and Scott E. Johnson were the same person.

    But looking at Jason's blog, I see what you mean - Scott seems to have hijacked it alright.

  21. #21
    kschang is offline Senior Scambuster
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    874

    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    Quote Originally Posted by littleroundman View Post
    MLM junkies.

    These are persons who have become addicted to the passive income appeal of MLM and have failed time after time in each of several MLMs, but keep trying new ones in hopes that “this may be the one.” They are like the person in and out of a long string of romantic relationships looking for the ideal mate.
    I had a "hopper", but I guess I should have emphasized the "next one will be the one" aspects. I'll go think of a better name. :)

    How about... "the Romantic Junkie"? (i.e. I'm addicted to this stuff, I hope next one I try will be the one, I'm not giving up!)
    ---
    A MLM Skeptic (not a Cynic) covering scams, critical thinking, and psychology
    http://amlmskeptic.blogspot.com

  22. #22
    kschang is offline Senior Scambuster
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    874

    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    Just thought of another one: the indignant

    "Whoever criticized my current scheme must have a *** up their ***!" Guess you woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning and someone spiked your coffee, eh?
    ---
    A MLM Skeptic (not a Cynic) covering scams, critical thinking, and psychology
    http://amlmskeptic.blogspot.com

  23. #23
    laidback's Avatar
    laidback is offline Senior Troll
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    3,000

    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    Quote Originally Posted by kschang View Post
    I think "Bucky Beaver" is covered under Noobvangelist, though I guess I'll have to clarify that as "being completely oblivious to your polite hints to 'get lost'"

    I can definitely add a new trait of "Holier Than Thou" -- uses religion and/or charity as bait to engage you in conversation, then steer you into the opportunity, no different religious affinity scam.

    I am adding a new trait: the fluffer. They tell you various things that you're not (but you want to be) to make you more receptive to their pitch; i.e. they lie to you in order to sell to you
    Ahem, isn't this a common trait in the douchebag world??
    It seems like in this "industry" common sense is not all that common!

  24. #24
    kschang is offline Senior Scambuster
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    874

    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    Quote Originally Posted by laidback View Post
    Ahem, isn't this a common trait in the douchebag world??
    i was thinking more of "fluff you up, the better to pluck you later" type of lie. :D
    ---
    A MLM Skeptic (not a Cynic) covering scams, critical thinking, and psychology
    http://amlmskeptic.blogspot.com

  25. #25
    kath is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    122

    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    Quote Originally Posted by kschang View Post
    i was thinking more of "fluff you up, the better to pluck you later" type of lie. :D
    is that similar to the whole 'love bombing' tactic they talk about on pink truth?

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed on this website are solely those of their respective authors.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42