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Thread: Classifying MLM Douchebags

  1. #26
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    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    Quote Originally Posted by kath View Post
    is that similar to the whole 'love bombing' tactic they talk about on pink truth?
    That's definitely a part of it. Love bombing is a standard cult tactic. In fact, the term was originated from a cult... the Moonies.

    Love bombing - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    EDIT: In a way, the lavish group events with idol worshipping (presenting show checks and awards to "top earners") is a part of that too.
    ---
    A MLM Skeptic (not a Cynic) covering scams, critical thinking, and psychology
    http://amlmskeptic.blogspot.com

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  3. #27
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    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    which must really play to the narcissistic sociopaths that get involved in these thingd

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  5. #28
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    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    How about Ignorant Idiot? Has no clue what he got into but believes everything his upline and the top dogs say without question. Or maybe we should call it Brain Out To Lunch?
    EagleOne
    Author: "Robbing You With A Keyboard Instead Of A Gun - Cyber Crime How They Do It" available in soft cover and eBook at Amazon.com

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  7. #29
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    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    Quote Originally Posted by EagleOne View Post
    How about Ignorant Idiot? Has no clue what he got into but believes everything his upline and the top dogs say without question. Or maybe we should call it Brain Out To Lunch?
    My place holder for them is "Eyes Wide Shutter" but the pun is a bit forced ;)
    ---
    A MLM Skeptic (not a Cynic) covering scams, critical thinking, and psychology
    http://amlmskeptic.blogspot.com

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  9. #30
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    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    Quote Originally Posted by kschang View Post
    My place holder for them is "Eyes Wide Shutter" but the pun is a bit forced ;)
    And then there is: Temporary Insanity.
    EagleOne
    Author: "Robbing You With A Keyboard Instead Of A Gun - Cyber Crime How They Do It" available in soft cover and eBook at Amazon.com

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  11. #31
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    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    Quote Originally Posted by kath View Post
    ----it is truly infuriating how they use the "charitable giving' guilt trip to try and get more 'recruits' and/or sales
    "Marelize" from "WorldWide Solutionz" would fit that category to a T.

    RS thread #1
    RS thread #2

    SD

    .
    "No one in this world, so far as I know - and I have researched the records for years, and employed agents to help me - has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people" - H. L. Mencken

  12. #32
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    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    Here's the latest revision:


    NOTE: It is possible for a douchebag to hold more than one (or even, ALL of these traits together!)

    The Evangelist

    The "evangelist" want to tell people that MLM (and their product, sometimes) is the greatest thing ever much like a preacher preaches religion. They are armed generally with propaganda (i.e. myths) instead of facts. They are very excited to tell you about the industry and their products, but their primary concern is sign you up as their downline. In general, they are all about the positive.

    Subtype A: the Firebrand

    The firebrand is an evangelist who has pure HATRED of any one who refused to be preached to or don't agree with their view (MLM is the greatest!) Any disagreement can be pinned on "they don't understand", "they are doomed as wage slaves in a deadend J-O-B", or even "it's a conspiracy against _____".

    Subtype B: the Fluffer

    The fluffer is an evangelist who will also fluff you up to be aroused and thus more receptive to the ideas, so much so they are nuts about positivity. They'll tell you that you can be or already are special, you have potential, blah blah blah. The fluffier you are, the easier you are to pluck later, after getting your ego stroked (in more ways than one).


    Subtype C: the Fear-Monger

    The fear-monger is an evangelist sells fear. Actually they sell "solutions" to relieve people of their fear (that they caused) and their money. They will preach to your existing fears (you'll die broke in a ditch, you'll go homeless, you'll amount to nothing in a dead-end minimum wage job, you'll die of broken health...) and they'll pitch you a solution (income opportunity or woo supplements) that will solve the fear they caused in you.


    Subtype D: the Bling-Flasher

    The Bling-Flasher want to show the world the amount of bling (jewelry, fancy watch, fancy car, fancy house, etc.) they can afford because they do this scheme. Their car may even have vinyl wrap proclaiming their affiliation (Vemma logo cars like BMW, or the infamous Mary Kay pink cars) and are generally talking about opportunities (and selling such) instead of whatever products they are supposed to be selling. What they don't tell you is how many products they sold, or how much did they spend traveling around "inspiring" people (i.e. recruiting).


    The Defender

    The defender is out to "defend" his faith... uh his scheme against any sort of criticism or even doubt against critics or even members whose faith had been shaken by variou scandals or bad news. They fall into several types (though some defenders can exhibit multiple traits) Defenders can be noobs or seasoned veterans.

    Subtype A: The Credentialist

    The credentialists want to show the world how "smart" they are by flashing their credentials around. Their message is "trust me" because "I was rank X in Y different MLMs", "I had bazillion downlines", "Acme MLM asked me to consult with them", or even "I wrote about / teach MLM at _____". However, if you dig a little deeper you may find that a good portion of their credentials are made up or exaggerated, such as "a dozen years of network marketing experience" actually meant "jumped company every two years that went nowhere". Will often turn indignant when confronted. (Also see Pseudo-Intellectual, Indignant)

    Subtype B: The Pseudo-Intellectual

    The pseudo-intellectual reacts to criticism such as "Scheme X may be a pyramid scheme" with neutral or condescending (you don't know what you're talking about, you can't talk about things you haven't tried...) wall-of-text, often copied from their uplines bogus explanations or Wikipedia. Generally they resort to bogus explanations like "all companies are pyramid-shaped", "pyramid schemes don't have products", and so on. Their long-winded responses are filled with fallacies and bad arguments, instead of properly formulated reasoning or evidence. They usually don't even know what laws define a pyramid scheme in their own jurisdiction. When confronted with their ignorance, they generally turn indignant or tried to flash their credentials to validate their view. (Also see "The Indignant") (Also see: The Credentialist)

    Subtype C: The Indignant

    The Indignant can be recognized by their indignant attitude, such as "how DARE you criticize my pet scheme?!?!" They usually respond with ad hominem insults "whoever wrote the criticism must have a bug up their ***" or some such rather than pseudo-intellectual or credential responses. Also see "The Loan Shark".



    The Insider

    The Insider is connected to the founder or highest levels of the company, and thus enjoy advantage that you average Joes are not privy to, and that's talked about as if they are naturally good at this, when it's really family connections. It could be their parents were good friends with the founder, or he was a top level affiliate in a PREVIOUS MLM by the founder, and so on. Often such "heavy hitters" were offered backroom sweetheart deals such as cash incentive to migrate his existing organization of downlines to join this scheme.

    Subtype A: The Secret Insider

    Some insiders desperately want to HIDE their connections to the founders or top level execs of the company and want to pretend to be Joe Average, albeit, a successful one. Indeed, some founders are known to have played as "leader" or "company rep" before outing themselves as CEO / founder.


    Subtype B: The Hopper

    The hopper hops from scheme to scheme periodically, never pushing one scheme for longer than a few months. They have no true allegiance to anything except how to milk one scheme for all its worth, and defect to a "bigger and better offer" when one comes along (often accompanied by a promised paycheck from the founder).

    Subtype C: The Double-Dipper

    The double-dipper are known to join multiple opportunities and push them simultaneously, sometimes with distinct online personas, websites, and capture pages. They may even have a primary opportunity, and only mentions the secondary ones "in passing". If they have more than two, they are multi-dippers. Double-dipper is known to cross-recruit, a definite no-no in in network marketing, but obviously douchebags don't care, "Plan B" and "backup" and "contingency plan" and all that.



    The Sheeple

    The sheeple are at the lowest ranks of network marketing and schemes that went in without knowing what they were doing, and learned from douchebags bad traits without realizing it. These are the people who got burned by MLM, whether in the short term or in the long term.


    Subtype A: The Romantic Hopper

    The Romantic Hopper is a hopper-wannabe who has unreasonable hope that "this will be the one", except it never is, much like a hopeless romantic is always after another guy/girl s/he can't have. S/he is not high enough to be a real "hopper", but is probably downline of a hopper. (See "Insider Type B: The Hopper") This will last until their money run out or they somehow build enough downlines that they become a real hopper themselves.

    Subtype B: The Faux Lion (Judas Goat)

    The Faux Lion is a sheeple who had been brainwashed into thinking they are lions among sheep and world is for their taking. The emulate the Evangelist type (or one of the subtypes), but what they are really doing is they are hunting and rounding up sheeple for the REAL Lions.

    Subtype C: The Dreamer

    The Dreamer is known for looking at an ass and sees a stallion, or looking at an OBVIOUS scam and sees "great money-making opportunity". Such a person is always in a reality-distortion field (of him- or herself) and is fond of stating that how law enforcement or regulatory agencies "don't know what they're talking about" even AFTER their favorite scheme was seized by the government and shut down. (Also see: The Groupie)

    Subtype D: The Groupie

    The groupie is a fan of one (or more) Bing-Flasher, and a Bing-Flasher Wannabe. A Groupie will walk around proclaiming "Yo, Bro, you see that man who just walked by? He makes 500K a month and drives a Beemer! Yet he wears T-shirt. He's one of us, homie. " Groupie tries to emulate everything done by the Bing-Flasher, right up to the point s/he can't afford to do so any more. (also see the "Eyes Wide Shutter")

    Subtype E: The Discriminator

    The discriminator judges people by the likelihood of profit potential. If you are not semi-interested in the opportunity, or just buy some **** from him/her, s/he is not interested in wasting time with you. Sees everybody (friends, family, workmates, etc.) as dollar signs instead of people. Will spend all of their "social capital", and even owe a bit more.

    Subtype F: The Loan Shark

    The Loan Shark thinks s/he is owed everything from everybody. The world owes him or her success. The refuseniks (people who refused his "polite" request to explain the opportunity) owes him/her an explanation. Downlines owes him/her respect, etc. etc. Loan Shark walks around perpetually with a chip on his/her shoulder. Always out to "collect" on past favors (i.e. social capital).
    ---
    A MLM Skeptic (not a Cynic) covering scams, critical thinking, and psychology
    http://amlmskeptic.blogspot.com

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  14. #33
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    Re: Classifying MLM Douchebags

    Forgot to give you guys an update... The finished product is here.

    A (MLM) Skeptic: (Humor) Classifying the Different Types of Network Marketing Douchebags
    ---
    A MLM Skeptic (not a Cynic) covering scams, critical thinking, and psychology
    http://amlmskeptic.blogspot.com

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