....The DSM calls NPD “a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy” and sets eight criteria:
- Sense of self-importance and grandiose fantasies.
- Belief in being special, brilliant, and unique.
- Need for admiring attention.
- Sense of entitlement.
- Exploitative, taking advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends.
- Arrogance and haughtiness (aloofness) and strong reactions to criticism.
- Lack of empathy.
- Envy of others or belief that others envy them.
Because these traits create friction with others, narcissists may try to disguise them. For example, they may feign empathy or pretend to be humble and fallible. But because their goal is to be perceived otherwise, they will sabotage their own pretentions, making it clear that their empathy is fake.
A narcissistic leader makes decisions not for the well-being of the organization, but to improve his own personal feelings about himself.
Anyone who opposes him therefore threatens his entire identity and self-worth. The narcissist will stop at nothing to eliminate this threat, because his entire ego structure is at stake......
Narcissists are very similar to sociopaths, who are people with antisocial personality disorder (APD). Both types lie without guilt and have little empathy. Both are highly skilled at being charming and feigning empathy in order to exploit others. But they differ in the reason for the behavior. The sociopath is oriented toward gaining advantage over others, while
the narcissist is trying to bolster his or her feelings of worthiness and importance.....
Narcissists do not realize they are exploiting and manipulating people, because they are unable to recognize the true feelings of others.
They may believe, for instance, that rage and anger directed against them are the result of envy toward them.
To protect their feelings of self-aggrandizement,
narcissists will lie shamelessly, but often do not realize they are lying. A person who lies to others will also lie to himself. So the narcissist may sincerely believe they said X, Y, or Z if believing it exonerates them from wrongdoing.
A narcissist might make claims to have expertise or skill well beyond his or her actual knowledge. But unlike an ordinary liar, the narcissist truly believes he or she is telling the truth.....
People often unthinkingly accept others' opinions of themselves as accurate. So
the narcissist may convince many people, at least at first, that he is indeed important, smart, and unique, especially when he talks of his supposed achievements in a field with which the listeners are unfamiliar.
But eventually, they realize they've been deceived. The narcissist leaves behind a trail of people who hate him for deceiving them and wasting their time and energy......
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